Frequently Asked Questions

What is sexuality coaching?

We work a lot like therapists – except we’re allowed to do more! We engage in talk AND experiential therapy. In experiential therapy, we engage in a relationship lab with clients where we use mindfulness to help people notice the habitual patterns they are engaging in that are keeping them unfulfilled and disconnected in intimacy. We offer guidance, and loving feedback on how they’re being perceived in erotic settings, and help them build the skills to be successful in intimacy, and get the kind of connection they truly desire. JUICY!

What do sessions look like?

No two sessions look the same. It’s an incredibly bespoke experience. Sessions always begin with attuning to ourselves and clients, and meeting them at the place and pace that feels most comfortable for them. For clients that are slow to warming up, the first few sessions may be all talk therapy from opposite sides of the room. For other clients, we might have a relationship lab exercise in the first session. Usually, sessions will begin with talk therapy to discuss underlying issues and then move into a relationship lab exercise.

Here is a video of me in a coaching session with Danielle, recorded back in Spring 2019. She is one of the founders of the Somatica Institute, and an absolute Queen. This one session helped me change profoundly in my intimacy life. Needless to say, this is an extremely vulnerable video for me to share, so if you choose to watch it, please come with an open mind and heart. You can find other types of sessions on the Here She Comes channel on Youtube.

What inspired you to become a sexuality coach?

This is a 2 part answer.

Part 1: “Logistics”: I stumbled into it. I started my first business in 2016, and as an eager young naive entrepreneur, made some decisions that put me out of alignment with my values. I slowly became discouraged and stopped working when it got hard. I had a huge entrepreneurial and spiritual ego death (I thought the universe would take care of me because I was doing social good - ha!) I experienced a huge wake up call as to what it takes to actually make it - and the biggest lesson was that I needed to be in full alignment, with full integrity, and that I cannot cut corners.

Feeling burnt out and defeated, I took time off to reassess and enjoy life a bit in early 20’s. During this time I got involved with the local kink and BDSM community since having moved to the Bay Area. With excitement, I started talking about my experiences at parties and found a large amount of people expressing interest to learning more about BDSM, from someone who they resonated with and felt approachable. I took a few individuals through scenes and taught them about BDSM, and although I had so much fun, I was left feeling an imbalance in energy exchange. I thought to myself, “Wow - what if I could teach this stuff for a living? Is a sexuality coach even a thing?” So I hopped on Google and learned of the Somatica Institute, went to their free intro session - felt a “fuck yes” in my body, and embarked on my journey to becoming a sexuality coach. I’ve completed the Core Training with the Somatica Institute and will be returning in 2020 for the Couples and Advanced Trainings. I’ve also worked with Midori and have taken her 2 part flogging intensive, am a Forte Femme graduate, and am taking her Rope Dojo in late September 2019.

Part 2: “Inspiration”: I had to learn about emotional intelligence, and holistic wellness in my early 20’s after an attempt in suicide after my first real break up. The relationship was extremely toxic and triggered many mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health issues in me. I had to spend time - out of pure survival - working on cultivating the skills, tools, and resourcing myself in a way so that I could be healthy in intimacy. This is a big reason why I’m a holistic sexuality coach - I experientially know the importance of making sure all of you is healthy, not just the sexual parts of you.

A good coach can only take you as far as they’ve come - and I’ve been in the darkest of depths. It is my absolute pleasure to serve those who feel lost, hopeless, and alienated. You are not alone.